The same month that the school finally ended, Keith and I packed, sold or gave away furniture, leaving other items for shipment to Poland, rented a car and drove to Chicago. Keith can be a little Napoleon sometimes. His plan was to get there in three days, so despite the fact that I can be a pretty fast driver, we didn't get much sleep along the way. Especially that Keith decided to take a small detour. We got off the highway somewhere in South Dakota and drove to Minnesota to visit his brother. (I don't blame him; it is his brother, after all). Ironically, the one time I got him to actually exceed the speed limit he got cited.

In Chicago we got on a plane to Berlin and landed there the next morning. We spent the following day there; thus we had a chance to explore this very interesting city. The next morning a train to Wroclaw took us there in four hours and fifteen minutes. Well, actually it was more than that, because, even though it was supposed to be a wonderful intercity train, it got stuck on the Polish side for some time.

Love Story

Four months of writing passionate e-mails to her, receiving equally passionate e-mails back, and then -- nothing. All of this crap about being together… well, she could always say, that she wasn't sure… and now we are supposed to be just friends.

I came into her life without any warning. A director has to react quickly to circumstances. And to create, one has to live ones emotions through. Now I am not going to give up so easily, damn it.

So now I left the US to see her and to start a new life; a life that became such a great uncertainty. And Poland, which saw better times in the nineties, when all the foreign press was writing about its successes, now has a very high unemployment rate. I also don't have my college diploma yet because things at the school are going at their usual slow rate and the Polish army is probably going to draft me.

I have nothing and I don't know what is going to happen to me. And yet there are moments of complete happiness. I see it clearly as I walk along the banks of the Odra River. I had lost control over my life, but it makes me see things more clearly than ever before. I have the energy to do everything . . . to try anything. There's nothing to lose. It is also a time when I am kinder to people than ever before. And you, my dear Agata . . . we have so much in common. You don't even know it. That is, you know but you just don't want to see it at the moment; even though we still talk and you need my company. We still go to places; we still work on the film. One day you will wake up, kinda like Snow White, you will wake up from a dream and you will see the obvious; that we have to be together, baby. I know it. And this time I will be living in the same place on Planet Earth, as you do. I will be living in one place for more than four months at a time. I can finally discover what it means to live.

I wrote poems for her to impress her with my sensitivity. She did not respond. Perhaps she doesn't like artists, I thought. I tired to impress her in a different way. Dusty and sweaty, working seven hours a day in the heat, fixing my mother's apartment, I even learned how to wallpaper so it doesn't fall off the next morning! Even Agata's family was impressed. But not she.

All right, if that doesn't impress her, I will show her how fun I can be. Just look at me dancing at clubs all night! My high-school friend, Michal, the one who appeared in Oceans and who lives on the same street as I, often goes with me. And there are girls there; Polish girls are very pretty, just ask anybody. But I don't care for them.

I remember lonely walks at night. Sometimes I would hop on a tram. One night I sat on a bench in front of her apartment building - an old pre-war building; quite nice. There was a full moon, I think. The next day I wrote a poem.

Drunken Tram

A drunken tram returns from a dance,
Dragging itself through the night on drunken rails,
Drunk are the driver, the minister, and the general,
Heavy head cradled in his hands.
In the heart of Wroclaw,
I danced almost till dawn,
I played with the girls.

The old tram with scratched panes
Stopped for a moment under your window.
And the time stood still for a moment,
Lights in the tram dimmed.
You're already asleep.
Lights are off and doors closed.
Drunken thoughts in my drunken head
Whispering:
I miss you, I miss you…
A spark screeches,
We move on again.

Time passed by and nothing was changing for the better. A director has to react to the changing circumstances. He, or she, has to be able to be in tune with the surroundings; has to foresee the future. Has to be strong. So the decision was final.

To Michal my decision was a total surprise. He was shocked. Not long ago I told him about my warm feelings towards her. Now they are all gone, or will be in a matter of days. I am doing everything to be completelly indifferent.. Later, in September, he wasn't even surprised when I told him that Agata and I had gotten back together. The change in her happened within hours and she started to love me. Another change that I had to get used to. Life is just too crazy. Don't take anything too seriously. Especially yourself!!!

We got engaged exactly a year after I had surprised her with our first kiss. We didn't realize that it was the same exact date.